Language Center

E:

Er, you know, I was really upset last night, you know I had a really nasty conversation with my sister, you know

M:

Right

E:

You remember my sister? You know, and she’s, she like………

M:

yeah

E:

To be a, an educational psychologist……..

M:

Right, right

E:

But she’s complaining, she’s saying that, you know, I’m not really, um, being a responsible mum, you know, I never ask my daughter or in Angela, I never ask Angela to do any housework and I don’t, um, check her homework something like that and then, so um, so she’s saying that Angela going, I mean, to grow up lazy and selfish, you know, going to be a useless person, what do you think?

M:

Alright…..

E:

Do you think Angela’s going to be lazy and selfish, because I don’t ask her to do any housework?

M:

Yeah, oh, oh, I don’t know if she’ll be useless but I do think that sometimes housework does help a child learn how to become a discipline adult, I mean, sometimes, it’s a….

E:

But what do you mean by discipline?

M:

Well, it teaches them how to, to how to stick with something until it’s finished or how to do a complete and thorough job.

E:

Oh, then, that, work is, you know, learning skills, you know, or they, they have to go to school, I mean, at eight o’clock in the morning and won’t be back to, er, I mean, to home until five and then what, what are they……

M:

Right

E:

To learn to be disciplined.

M:

Oh……

E:

All have lots of homework to do in the evening. Angela is spending 2 hours doing homework, maths, english, you know and…

M:

Right

E:

And another thing is she had to um, um, you know, play the piano and thing like that.

M:

Right

E:

Well, she hardly has any time to watch television, how can I……..

M:

Right

E:

Ask her to do any housework?

M:

Er, but it seems like physical work is different than mental work, I mean if she can work very hard as a student but, you know, sometimes it’s nice if she knows how to work hard in doing a garden or to learn how to, you know, build something or actually create something with her hands, maybe that, and um, I mean she may end up having a talent at it, she maybe very good, she may become a chef and………

E:

Right

M:

Learn that she’s very good at cooking and, and, and in some sense it gives her a chance to learn that where that’s something she wouldn’t learn in school, probably, right, she wouldn’t ……

E:

Oh, but then, I mean, I mean, making, I mean, uhm, like doing the washing up and then and taking articles to laundry, how, what, what is she going to learn? I really……..

M:

Um

E:

I think they don’t understand

M:

One day, maybe she has a husband then she……..

E:

Oh, oh, oh, be careful, so you’re saying that wife should take care of husband and then they should do housework, that what you, you were trying to say?

M:

I’m saying that usually when they get married, it’s, it’s at least a shared responsibility

E:

Yeah

M:

So one week maybe you’ll do the wash and laundry, and the other week maybe, you know, your wife, will do the wash and laundry.

E:

Ok

M:

And the dishes and so forth

E:

My mum never forced me to do any housework but then I was doing fine, you know, now, I, I do all the housework, um, I, I’m ………

M:

Oh………

E:

Not sharing with anyone so I mean, if you want to do it, if you have to do it, just to do it and then well, housework is something so simple, you don’t really……..

M:

Right

E:

Have to learn how to do it, you see what I mean?

M:

Well, my, my father insisted that my mother grew up not having to do much cooking

E:

Right

M:

And my father and sister that when they got married, my mother did not know how to cook at all

E:

Right

M:

That she had to use recipes for everything

E:

Uhuh…..

M:

And now she’s a pretty good cook.

E:

Right

M:

But, he’s like, he, he was the experimental ground.

E:

Right

M:

For her learning how to cook

E:

I bet he had lots of fun

M:

He doesn’t relate it as being fun, he says…….

E:

But that’s what you think, yeah….

M:

That many, many times, he says that many times,he had a, a tough time eating.

E:

Really?

M:

He had to sort of ….

E:

Just because of having bad food?

M:

And he had to pretend

E:

Tough time?

M:

He had to pretend that it was very good so he wouldn’t hurt her feelings.

E:

Why did he had to pretend? If you love a woman, you enjoy her bad food.

M:

Well, right, but he, he would just, he, he, he’s still, you know, because he loved her, he just, he wouldn’t say anything but in reality, it’s still bad food. Bad food is bad food.

E:

Oh, oh, Maurice, so, so, you’re really expanding the definition of housework, you mean, learning how to cook , you know and making bed and

M:

Well, yeah

E:

Doing laundry and things like that

M:

I mean if, for example, my mother, my mother was notorious for turning our white shirts into pink shirts

E:

Right

M:

Because she would wash them……

E:

I do that all the time

M:

Right, really?

E:

You have to have many new shirts…..great.

M:

And, and, and you said, you didn’t grow up with, uhm, learning how to do housework, I mean, er, that’s, that’s why, I mean if you grew up learning how to put whites with whites, and dark colored clothes with dark, like I never mess them up cos I grew up doing it. I, I never have turned anything a pink, or, beige if it’s white.

E:

Er, I see your point, but then that’s because you having different background, but you probably, you haven’t been in Hong Kong for long time, you don’t really know how busy Hong Kong children are you know, and they have……

M:

Er…..

E:

To take examinations and have really long school hours and the, er, I mean, you can only have one childhood which I really want her….

M:

Right

E:

Angela enjoy her life, I mean, if she doesn’t learn to do, what I did ask her, and she said, "well, housework, ok, not my, not my cup of tea so, I say, ok, you can forget doing it for a while, I mean, I mean she’s only ten.

M:

But they have school friends, she could have her friends come over and they could do it or they could, I mean, they can make, it can be more fun or you can use it as a…

E:

You’re asking her friends to come in to help me?

M:

No, well, not asking them to, just come in to help her but if she has friends, maybe, rather than having her friends having, her say, when you can’t talk to your friends on the phone…..

E:

Right

M:

And, and so forth, maybe you can say why don’t you invite your friend over and you guys can do this and you can have fun, you know, and when you’re ten years old, you can have fun doing the laundry and…..

E:

Oh, I’m not sure, well, I’m not sure whether I want to agreeing with what you said….

M:

She may actually like doing it with you

E:

Cos, you know, I don’t do housework myself, you see, I can’t ask, and….oh we have a maid at home, you know

M:

Right

E:

So, she’s doing everything, I mean, if Angela is, er, is, is sharing the maid’s work and, and the maid , oh, the maid is going lazy, you see what I mean?

M:

Right

E:

Right and it’s, wow, ok

M:

Wow, you just don’t, you get rid of the maid

E:

Oh, I don’t think I can do it, you know

M:

Oh

E:

Because I’m do, er….

M:

Oh maybe…..

E:

Working in Hong Kong you see so hard you know and then I, I really want to enjoy life

M:

Right

E:

And I papers to write, I have papers to mark, you know in the evening

M:

Right

E:

And er, I don’t do housework myself and I don’t, do you think I’m lazy?

M:

No, no, I, I just, I mean, I think your sister may, may have a point in the sense that she probably thinks that, that your daughter should have a more well-rounded kind of view of things, so maybe she will be very good at school

E:

yeah

M:

And she’ll be very good at the piano and….

E:

Right

M:

And now, maybe she, if, if she learns how to, to work hard, maybe when, when life is not always so easy….

E:

Mm

M:

She knows how to work hard and to get out of bad situations

E:

Well, exactly like what you said life is not easy, or it, it’s going to be harder for her, so I mean if I can provide an environment to make her feel that she’s really enjoying life, she’s really happy, so at least she has ten years, I mean, happiness and, and, and I mean she has a really happy childhood and you might think I’m selfish.

M:

But she won’t, but, she, she may not remember that, I mean, when she’s……

E:

She never did any housework

M:

When she’s, right, right, so she won’t, she won’t remember

E:

Cos my mum has a maid as well, my mum never did any housework

M:

But , but I’m sure there were times when she cried or was unhappy.

E:

Right

M:

Even though she didn’t have to do housework, I mean, right, there’s probably sometimes, she’s got upset about something and so, er, I think……

E:

Um, maybe that’s the reason why she’s still single, you know and maybe because she doesn’t know how to do housework and so……

M:

Right, right, right…..